The Only Crossover That Matters
by Emerald.Sloth
Summary: Will Rei take the hand of a blonde newcomer and run away to sexytown?
It was a dark and stormy night. Every high school level swim team was gathered in a ginormous aquatic center together, holding hands in a massive circle around the pool of pools, singing a battle hymn. The Iwatobi High School was seeming to have an issue with one of their members repeatedly stripping down and trying to jump in. It was really hot.

Soon, the teams organized themselves again, and the meet began with the mighty scream of a climaxing uke magnified over the P.A. system.

Rei felt his muscly butt-pads clench in anticipation as the line in front of him grew shorter and his turn approached.

He was going to swim today.

Despite his previous failures, he was ready.

He had been born ready.

He approached the front of the line on ripped legs, calf-muscles bulging with the enthusiasm of the bulge in his swim shorts, and listened to the cheers of his team as he climbed onto the diving board, his well-toned feet brushing against the rough surface.

He crouched in ready position, determination coloring his toned features.

 _This time…_ he thought to himself, _This time I will be beautiful…._

Then the whistle of fate blew, and he shot magnificently over the glittering water, the air rushing over his lovely physique and for one glorious moment, he was in perfect form.

 _Yes, YES_ , he thought aggressively, I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!

Then in the next moment, he found himself sinking like a rock. He gazed forlornly up at the glowing surface of the water, feeling himself slowly lose consciousness. _I have failed...yet again…_ he sadly thought. His sexy purple eyes closed and the world went black. _I thought I could….I thought I could…._

Suddenly he felt someone firmly grasp his sexy, corded arm and gently yank him up through the water. He was dragged out of the pool and laid out on the concrete. He sputtered and coughed, spitting up water with those damn fine lungs of his. The blurred faces above him began to unblur into four pretty faces. Haru, Nagisa was there, Makoto… and someone else too. The boy to his right was most certainly a god of some sort. His damp hair shone golden in the sunlight, with eyes as blue as toilet-bowl cleaner and a face that looked as if it had been carved by angels. Rei paused his coughing to ask his name, but the god-boy was faster. He laughed with the sound of pealing bells, shaking glitter out of his hair, taking Rei's deft, long-fingered, muscled hand in his own.

"Silly boy, you should be more careful next time. You nearly drowned!", he exclaimed, kissing that skilled hand of Rei's. A faint trail of banana-scented lip gloss sparkled where his lips met Rei's hot sweaty tanned golden skin bulging with swimmer muscles.

"Who…..who are you….?', Rei asked, dazzled by this man's beauty.

The boy chuckled, and mass amounts of red roses appeared behind him as he flashed a perfect smile full of deliciously sexy teeth.

Haru took off his clothes and jumped in the pool, swimming for the distant horizon. The dolphins called out to him, their long lost brother. An upbeat shoujo-style anime opening began to softly play in the background as he flopped away with his kin.

"Haru! No! We haven't even tried position 64 yet! COME BACK!", Makoto screeched in anguish after him.

Meanwhile the blonde boy was staring deeply into Rei's eyes, giving him a strange feeling he had never felt before...

"Me…?', the boy asked, as if Rei were talking to somebody else. He placed his hand over his eyes, chuckling again, making Rei's heart flutter inside his well-toned chest which was accented by his twelve-pack glistening with water. The boy stood, flipping his hair again, and stared off into the distance for two suspenseful hours. After the brief pause, he looked down at Rei's muscled face , holding a red rose in his outstretched hand. Rei took it with his buff yaoi hand- it smelled gay-very appealing. He blushed loudly, red gently coloring his manly cheeks.

Nagisa felt insanely jealous at this moment as the god boy flirted with his man-cake and silently made arrangements to take care of the issue on his phone.

"What are you doing, Nagisa…?", Makoto asked innocently.

"Shut up Bitch-koto", Nagisa shouted angrily, penguin charm dangling from the end of his hot pink phone, "Daddy's taking care of something important!"

Nagisa continued, leaving Makoto in shock at that vulgar use of language. Meanwhile, the sexy newcomer was still talking.

"My name….is Tamaki.", the boy continued in a seductive voice, "Welcome to the Ouran Highschool Swim Club"

The sound of his sweet sensual voice was overwhelming-too much for the poor virgin boy.

"I… ah...a-aAHhh!~~"

Rei suddenly came with a mighty thrashing of his muscled body, cherry blossoms shooting from his big stick, and the opening theme crescendoed to a deafening roar, causing every hot boy's ears to bleed golden ichor, and the most amazing anime opening ever commenced in a shower of cherry blossoms.


End file.
